HEY, THE KIDS DON’T WANT TO DO THIS!

HEY, THE KIDS DON’T WANT TO DO THIS! Yes, They

Won’t—Until Patience, Love and Repetition Help Them Want What

Is Good for Them It was an ordinary Sunday morning. Dr. Abhishek

Gilara and his wife were having coffee when she mentioned their

daughter, who had recently completed her studies and joined the

family business. “She doesn’t want to spend more time in the

office.” His response surprised her: “That’s perfectly fine.” Then he

added: “We just have to keep encouraging her—politely, patiently

and lovingly.” That conversation raised a much bigger question:

Why do parents stop parenting when their children become adults?

When children were small, they did not want to eat by themselves.

We patiently taught them.

They could not walk. We encouraged one step, then another. They did not remember to brush their

teeth. We reminded them again and again. Today, nobody needs to remind them. Our repetition

became their habit. Then why, when an adult child says— “I don’t want to work.” “I don’t feel like

doing this.” “I am not interested.” —do parents sometimes immediately conclude: “They are

adults now. Leave them alone.” This book challenges both extremes. Do not control your adult

children. But do not abandon your role as a parent either. Through deeply personal reflections on

family, discipline, habit, work, legacy and the next generation, Dr. Abhishek Gilara explores a

different philosophy of parenting: Control must become counsel. Instruction must become conversation.

Protection must become preparation. And parental discipline must eventually become

self-discipline. The objective is not to raise children who obey us forever. It is to raise adults who

eventually do not need to be reminded. Because successful parenting is not measured by how long

children continue holding our finger. It is measured by what happens after they let it go. Do they

walk? Do they rise after falling? Do they take responsibility? Do they carry values when nobody

is watching? And after becoming completely independent, do they still know that their parents are

there whenever they truly need them? Parenting does not end when childhood ends. Its language

changes.